Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Fish or cut bait! We've all heard that phrase and can probably cite a way that we have applied it in our own lives. It is certainly true for me. A little background - it was not an easy decision to completely uproot ourselves and try to establish again on the other side of the country. But Hubby and I did so with open hearts and open minds. We moved to New England with a 15-year plan - to work, make our home and experience this part of the country in a way we could not do in a two-week vacation. At the end of that time, we would plan our retirement and most likely head west- returning to the Golden State for our golden years.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even before our furniture arrived, the company Hubby was hired by here was sold and the tenor of the work for which he was hired was dramatically changed. Still in such a poor economy we had much to be thankful for: our health; a beautiful, thoughtful, smart and successful daughter; a lovely new home; and each other and let's not forget that Hubby had a job, not always easy to come by or keep in the current economy. Enter the 5 to 7-year plan.
We enjoyed our first New England fall and all of its glorious color. We reveled in the wonders of winter. We worked hard to turn this house into our home. We took some great trips. We said goodbye to a beloved member of the family and welcomed a new member to the fold. Still it felt more like we were going through the motions day-to-day rather than living a life. With no school-age children and not working outside of the home, I found it difficult to find or form friendships in this small town. I gave it a good try and have enjoyed getting to know the gals that were brave enough to take the leap and join me.
I really tried to keep a brave face. Hubby seemed to be enjoying his work, I LOVED the hours he was keeping - for the first time in our lives we were enjoying leisurely mornings without worry over beating the commuter traffic. I was able to plan on putting dinner on the table at the same time every evening. From the outside everything looked good.
But you didn't have to scratch the surface very hard to learn that we were both just miserable! Hubby was not feeling challenged or fulfilled by his job. He felt that the skills he brought to the table when was hired were being lost to him. After being laid-off, we both fully understand that presenting your best, most marketable self is of the utmost importance. As for me, I have just felt desperately alone and lonely. I miss The Princess, I miss my friends, I miss my garden, I miss the state that I will always call home and it seems that Hubby was feeling just the same way.
It has been two years since Hubby learned that he was being down-sized, the economy is showing some signs of improvement. The job market in his field has begun showing some signs of opening up and we have made the decision to cry, 'Uncle' and go home.The 'for sale' sign was planted in the snow on Saturday.
I mixed a double-batch of chocolate chip cookie dough, portioned it out, and tucked them in the freezer.
So simple to drop a half-dozen cookies on a baking sheet 30 minutes before an appointment to see the house.
They look inviting on the counter and the house smells G-O-O-D! Every little detail can only help.
In order to not make a mess, I sit quietly and stitch on my hexagons. It is dangerously close to being a full-fledged quilt top. I can't find a good place to take a photo. So here is one half -
and the other.Whether in this house in the east or someplace new in the west - I still can hardly wait to see it on my bed!

49 comments:

Darlene said...

You happiness is more important than anything else in the world. Your hearts belong in the West - follow it home.

Quiltdolls said...

well the good news you are moving back to san diego, i hope. I live in clairemont part of san diego . I started reading your blog about a year before you left. ALso you will get to be close to fat quarters, country loft & temecula. They is a new wool shop in temecula.

kim

Sharon said...

Oh Libby, I wish all the best for your family with this decision. It's tough to move and try to meet people, I've been there myself. I still am, but at least I'm working, but it is hard to find "like" people when you move from your home. Best wishes for a speedy sale, a new great job for hubby, and a happy household.

WoolenSails said...

We tried moving once, to upstate NY and that is not that far from here, but it was not home to me, so I said, I can't do it. Luckily his old company wanted him back and made him a better offer, so we were able to stay. So, hang in there, things always work out in the end and I know you will both be happier being home again with family and friends.

Debbie

Carol said...

Libby I couldn't be happier for you...I've got my fingers and toes crossed that your wonderful house sells quickly!

Lori said...

At least you tried it. You stepped out of your comfort zone and gave it a good go. What's nice is that you both could let each other know you weren't happy. Cheers to the next 10 year plan!

Dixie said...

Looking forward to meeting up with you in Cali sometime soon I hope! Your hexagon quilt looks amazing. So happy you are coming home!

Quilt Hollow said...

Bless your hearts that you have that option to be able to move back and follow your dream. I agree it is hard to make changes when your heart just fully isn't in it...and I can tell you that I've been here for over 5 years after DH retired military.....still haven't the friendships I made while he was active duty and I miss that terribly. I so understand the need too to be near your daughter. I'm happy for you...and hope for a quick sale!

Chris@Cats On My Quilts said...

Well, having been a military wife and lived in some wonderful areas, especially the 4 years we spent in Colorado, I always wanted to come "home" to New England so I know how you feel. No place else waas ever home to me. Although this winter has me almost crying uncle and if my children and grandchildren didn't live near me I'd be back in Colorado! We need to do a lunch or something before you move.

KC Quilter said...

Libby, you and your hubby are so wise. Life is short and you have to live it to the fullest. Best wishes to you and your family.

Brandie said...

So sorry to hear that things aren't as good as they should be. Good luck with your new venture.
The hexies are even more amazing!

Sweet P said...

I'm sorry to hear life is not working out for you here in New England. Maybe we can get together once before you leave. Good luck in wherever life takes you.

Chocolate Cat said...

Congratulations on you both for following your hearts. The Princess must be thrilled!

Loris said...

You certainly did give it a good try. It is hard to beat being near family, friends and in our beautiful state though. I was happy to return home after a 2 year adventure too. I am fond of New England to this day but know I feel more settled on the west coast.
Best wishes for a smooth house sale and job hunt. Exciting news could be just around the corner :-)
The hexie quilt is looking wonderful. Soothing stitches for a transition.

Carrie ~ Cricketwood Prims said...

Libby,
It must feel wonderful to have made a decision. Not feeling at home or having friends is such a sad way to be!! Not healthy either, life can be so much more. You have had an adventure and I'm thinking you are in for another. Your cookie idea is a great one.
I'm thinking good thoughts and prayers for your future.

Carole said...

What news! All I can say is follow your heart! It never lies! Good luck with the more. Perhaps we'll be able to see each other again before you leave! Hugs!

paula, the quilter said...

Personally, I don't know how you managed. I have made it as far east as the Mississippi River and once out of Colorado, I started getting claustrophobic because the blue open skies weren't there and the mountains were gone! Coming back west, I could feel the stress evaporate. Welcome back to the West.

Wendy said...

You'll have wonderful memories of the adventures out East. I wish you the best and hope you sell fast. We bought our last house with cookies smelling so good on the counter. I'm still enjoying watching the progress on your hexagon quilt.

Gari said...

I hope your house sells soon, your move goes well and hubby finds a job he will be challenged by. Good Luck!

Cornbread and Beans Quilting said...

Oh Libby good for you! What relief you must feel just having made the decision! Now surely everything will fall into place, just the way it's supposed to be for you and your husband. Life just has a way of working out if you follow your heart. And won't you be glad of your New England days when you are back home and dying of the heat in your garden! LOL

Kelly Ann said...

2 years was it for me also...I needed to be south...best wishes on selling your house and moving west to your new home.

The Calico Cat said...

Good Luck... I'd love to move, I am a rambler at heart, but I am also far to complacent... Besides, I have no idea where I would want ot move to... (I don't have a "home" port...)

Barb said...

Best wishes!
You story really struck a cord. Rich and I are Chicago transplants living in NJ for 8 years and are still trying to get back home. I was hoping for this year, but Rich has said 2 more years....
Good luck selling your lovely home.
Your hexes are amazing. I love the rich colors.
xo

Quilter Kathy said...

These big life changing decisions are so hard. I admire your willingness to make the hard choices as a family and to be open to changing course when necessary. You are very brave my friend! I'm sure your house will sell right away with all the work you have put into it. Lay a few quilts out and that will make all the quilters come running :)

Diane said...

I'll be thinking about you and your family as you start another chapter.
Your hexi quilt is SO beautiful. Every time you post a picture I am tempted.

Karen said...

I could tell that you were not happy with the move. I hope all works out for the best and you get back to where you want to be. All this has to have been a tough decision. I do love your New England home, though.

Your hexagon quilt has just blossomed. Lots of stitching involved in getting to this point. Do you think you will make another?

Kim said...

They say the way to a home buyer's heart is through his tummy. Okay, maybe it's not exactly that, but I still hope the aroma of those chocolate chippers brings you a quick sale so you can load the wagons and head west again. Love that CA sunshine! Most of all, will be happy when you can go home again. Best wishes for all to go well.

Karen said...

You know Libby you never know until you try things to see if they fit or not. You gave it a try and found out it's not the right fit for you. The important thing is to make each day count and be happy and move towards your happiness :). I hope for you speed in this process :).

Hugs- Karen

McIrish Annie said...

Although I don't want you to go, cause i'm selfish, i know your heart is in CA. I'm praying that the house sells quickly. Until then, let's try to get together a few more times!! Be sure to invite me over to help you pack up for your move.

Stina said...

Ahhh...Libby
Senced something was bothering you just by reading your posts... Knowing them from the CA time...good luck with the sale and go with the heart... Take care!

Heartsdesire said...

Moving house is always a traumatic experience. And when your house is for sale, you can never quite get anything like sewing or quilting done. Don't want to leave a mess when showing your home. Our house was for sale last spring and I didn't get into my sewing room for four months. We finally took it off the market. However, for you to be going back to your roots is a good thing and I hope you sell soon so you can get back to the life you and your husband love.

Quilts And Pieces said...

Oh Libby, kind of sad, but also kind of happy. Not that I want to tell all here but things are not good in my neck of the woods right now either. I"m feeling torn and tired and stressed. At least it sounds like your plan will make you both happy.

Carol said...

Your story could have been mine almost to the word back in 2006. Hubby and I left San Diego for Connecticut, and as nice as it was, it was just not home. Missed the family, weather, parks open year round, just everything. There is no place like Southern California. I know you'll be happy to come home :)

sewprimitive karen said...

Not surprising to read this; you were not happy at all with eastern lands. Hope to hear next post that the house has sold.

AnnieO said...

Wow, that is big news! How appreciative the new owners will be of the beautiful kitchen you put in! Glad to hear the decisions have been made and you can move back to familiar territory once more!

P.S. Will you get a snowflake tattoed next to the poppy?

tracey said...

i commend you for sticking it out as long as you did, libby. i know that it was a tough situation and one that you tried to make the best out of a tough situation. can't wait for your new adventure (to back home) begins!

tracey

Shasta said...

I wish you all the best Libby. Looks like you are leading your lives in the direction you want them to go, which is always the best thing.

Shakerwood said...

Had a funny feeling by your emails that you and hubby were not as happy as you could be there. What's the point of ANYTHING if you are not happy doing it? Hope his job search and selling the house goes swiftly and without incident. But IF you are still there in July (I hope not - in a good way), I will try for us to meet when I go visit Dorr Mill. Bet the Princess is just giddy!

anne bebbington said...

Well no-one can say you didn't give it your best shot - hope your reverse journey is speedy and hassle-free (((hugs)))

Linda said...

I discovered your blog when you were moving and I was so envious. I'm sorry your plan didn't work the way you envisioned but I understand the call of home. I've lived in the south for 20+ years and it will never be home like the midwest was. My two best friends are still 1000 miles away! Good luck. We'll be rooting for you!

Rosemary said...

Good Luck Libby! Hope it all works out like yall want and the house sells quickly for you! Its so charming, how can it not!

QuiltingFitzy said...

Just keep us up to date darlin', we'll stand by at the ready.

The quilt is just amazing. My hexie project is at my desk at work, still waiting for the finishing touches.

You'll land on your feet, and love the new beginning all over again.

We landed in Tucson, in the warm sunshine, and we couldn't love it more.

Guðrún said...

I hope you have already sold your house. Your hexies are gorgeous.

Diane said...

Oh Libby, I'm so sorry for what you are going through! In this economy, it seems to be a common story.

When our house was on the market, I simmered apples and cinnamon just before a showing.

Your hexagon quilt is amazing!

quiltmom said...

Libby,
It sounds like you and your husband have had a long hard think, both about moving east, and returning back west.
I hope that your journey back home comes quickly and goes smoothly for you.
Best wishes in selling your home and the move.
Warmest regards,
Anna

Colleen formerly of South Africa said...

I too bleieve that you have to follow your heart... and truth be told, some people enjoy some parts of the country more than others. I love the Texa panhandle, tornados, wind and all. A lot of my friends thought I was nuts.... But you have certainly made your mark wherever you have been would be my guess. Good luck, hope the house sells in the proper time frame for you.

Kathie said...

oh my....
I am thrilled for you...
glad your going home
Kathie

Magnolia Bay Quilts said...

So sorry things didn't work out the way you planned. Everything will work out for the best. Hope you're settled in your new life soon.

The hexagons are AMAZING!

Ann said...

We went through a similar situation. Moving from the Midwest to Maine. Difficult to meet friends, we tried very hard. We enjoyed traveling the state but after 2 years, we moved.

It turned out to be the greatest decision. Good luck to you!